super tiring day.
ytd was a super nice day out with sihui, jac, jj&wallace. :))

yes, finally i'm able to be myself again. i can speak as many tmds as i like and i can go on with those.. "bloody idiots" and "retarded" words of mine. :D gosh, i'm super happy ytd. :)

ate sakae with them and.. i think we're super pro ppl. we took the sukiyaki by ourselves. :P but the bill's super nice, suming up to $123 (nice number hor). haha what's important was we had fun! :D

den wallace went to search for watches and.. poor jj. supposingly this trip was arrange to buy his stuffs but it ended up becoming the search for the need of the rest. =P
den we started to search for cabs. BLOODY HELL, waited so damn long.

on the cab.. laopa called.
elaine: hello?
laopa: eh reaching not... waaaaaa miss your voice alot lei. very long never hear alrdy. (in chinese)
elaine: rly not? (very happy)
laopa: rly la.

HEEHEE. that's my importance at sakae-to TALK. :P
yup den met up with laopa&kaya. omg, i miss laopa ALOT ALOT. :D

den played games and home. :)

today, school again. tmd.
lessons and everything. and went to d/l softwares for comp and off to pp with eliza&ivan.
had swensens with sihui (thanks for the treat) :P and home. haha going to work tmr. :DD

i miss work. i miss working friends.
i dont enjoy school. i miss saying "tmd"
i miss saying bloody hell. i miss being myself.

i miss hee hee ha ha rofl with friends, rather than.. keeping quiet.
i miss my noisy self. i miss the alert me, that... can answer the quest of lecturers.

imagine, being in a class full of smart ppl..
i do feel threaten, esp everyone's fighting for the limited seats for that degree rather than diploma. i do feel glad for my classmates, at least they're friendly you know.. but we're just not close yet, maybe. i'm one who take super long to warm up in a brand new environment. (i took abt 2 mths to fully start my engine in sakae), this explains my quietness.

i should start planning for my future.. if not, i'm bound sure to be jobless.
no. 1 plan- go for degree
no. 2 plan- go be pri/sec sch teacher
no. 3 plan- pursue a further degree for tourism/F&B

3 yrs to plan my future.

i'm trying hard to take things lightly... but i'm feeling those pressure alrdy.
imagine... lecturers are asking quest and i'm filled with question marks. no, thats not me.. i'm suppose to be filled with confidence and able to answer quest right? argh tmd. all my confidence, bhbness-gone once i'm in school.

i miss working alot
at least.. i got jj, wallace to... cheer me on, i got jac to bitch with me.., i got boo to tell me "there's us", i got kaya to say he miss me :P, i got laopa..
i miss crapping and laughing, while working.

dont ask me why i feel so sad out of a sudden.
it's just.... i dont actually feel good at all for the past few days, except ytd night. i dont like acting like i'm alright when i'm not at all.

maybe because, its only the beginning of school and i'm just not use to it yet.
but yes, there's definitely other factors affecting my mood right now.. just i dont wish to say.

sometimes i wonder..
why do others always expect me to be the one thinking for them.. while did any of these ppl put themselves in my shoes? if i were to think for every single living creature in this world.. who's there to think for me?
not any selfish thoughts but just... i dont like thinking for others all the time.

也许，可能
我会再一次让另一个人闯进我心门……

可是，不是现在……